Dessert First: Part Three (of Six)
Part One: New view, new you: The power of a workation
Part Two: Dessert first: Putting fun before function
By now, you probably know that I spent 12 weeks in Greece this year with 22 other families. It was a life-changing experience, and part of that was thanks to the group that was there.
About halfway through the trip, after weeks of seeing the same people and getting to know everyone, I noticed that there was little to no drama. No cliques of people or awkward interactions that often start to surface when people shift from the good behavior of “getting to know you” to the “getting to live with you” dimension. But somehow, the high energy that this group started with sustained. I became fascinated by this and I started to study and take notes each day as I wanted to learn what was making this community great.
From my observations, this is what I learned:
There was natural inclusivity and acceptance: With this group, I noticed there was no judgment around what you were wearing or how you tended to your children. Everyone respected each other’s unique life choices. Everyone on the trip embraced a “come as you are” attitude, regardless of ”status” (socioeconomic or professional) or personal style. This helped everyone feel welcome and valued. This group never excluded each other. There were definitely families that grew closer than others, but there was almost always an invite to all to participate in an activity or join for a meal (“hey, we’re going to this beach today, does anyone want to join?”)
We all valued being part of a village that provides support: During this trip, there was a communal sense of responsibility for one another and for each other’s children. I distinctly remember one parent stepping in to cheer up my sobbing daughter. At the moment I was exhausted and nothing I was saying was helping; but another parent stepped in with a fresh approach and within minutes she was a-ok again. Whether it was stepping in to assist a parent or to cheer up an upset child, this sense of collective care created more of a village atmosphere.
We seemed to have an unwritten rule to engage cautiously and curiously on hot topics: When you plop 22 families down on an island in the middle of the Mediterranean, there’s bound to be some differing opinions. And in this community, we had it all: huge variations on politics, extreme differences in our religious backgrounds and each of us having different perspectives around current global issues from wars to vaccines. Yet, I don’t remember conversations ever getting tense or heated. When sensitive topics like politics or religion came up, curiosity led the conversation. Everyone was genuinely interested in learning more about each other’s background and beliefs, rather than creating a disagreement that led to heated debates. We were excited to get another point of view on world issues and curious to hear how that point of view was formed.
We showed appreciation and spread positivity: Have you ever traveled with someone who gets frustrated by each delay, each inconvenience and each thing that doesn’t go to plan? Not this group! There was something very special about this group; they never dwelled on mishaps or spent too much air time complaining. Of course things went wrong and there were times when we were frustrated, but nobody dwelled on it or kept the memory alive. There was a real sense of gratitude for the experience and a focus on the fun we were having together as a community.
Facetime was important: My time away reaffirmed the value of in-person interactions. Syros is a small island so we were all living in a walkable community. That meant a good number of unplanned run-ins (we’d often bump into each other at the grocery store or a restaurant), plus all of our events were in person. It really helped foster a strong sense of community quickly and created stronger bonds between all the families who were part of our group. Within a few short weeks, we felt like one big extended family.
We allowed ourselves to lean on each other: Everyone on this trip was a seasoned traveler; hypothetically, we all had the skills to successfully travel without each other. But instead of showing our independence, we created interdependence. We allowed ourselves to lean on the group to make things better–to help with juggling the kids, to help get around and navigate new places, to learn the best places to eat, drink, and visit. We leaned on each other to find the resources we needed to make life more comfortable (example: where can I buy a cutting board and a whisk?) One of the women I was traveling with said, “community breaks down when you don’t need each other.” This was a big aha moment for me; how true is that?
Unfortunately, this type of community is rare in corporate settings, where we celebrate independence, individual contribution, and where ambition and insecurity seem to get in the way.
But what if that wasn’t the case? What if we found a way to build more collaborative corporate environments by creating spaces where each person felt seen, supported and encouraged?
I think if leaders and teams focused on inclusivity and acceptance, we’d see more environments with psychological safety. Instead of small groups going for lunch or after-work drinks, I’d love to see teams extending the invite to the entire team. How cool would it be if we truly supported each other at work? I bet we’d thrive if each employee took on a more supportive role, fostering trust and accountability, building stronger, more connected teams.
What if instead of focusing on everything that’s wrong with your team or organization, we focused more on everything that’s going well (a great manager, awesome benefits, extra time off at the holidays and that great client we are lucky to have…)? I’ve now seen firsthand the difference it can make on morale when you focus on what’s going well.
And though we may not always realize it, we need each other to do our jobs. Employers need employees. Their businesses simply couldn’t exist or function without them. If every leader kept that top of mind, I think we’d see a vastly improved sense of community within our organizations.
How do you think we can improve the sense of community in corporate cultures? Please join me on LinkedIn and let’s continue the conversation.
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