As a leadership coach and a mid-life human myself, I find myself asking: Should a coach stick strictly to leadership topics, or are we truly in service to a leader if we address the bigger, more personal obstacles that inevitably impact their work?
Let’s start with the reality. Leaders are not just their job titles. They are parents, spouses, children to aging parents, individuals with health challenges, and human beings navigating long-term relationships that evolve in sometimes unexpected ways. Speaking from experience, mid-life is no joke—it’s a juggling act with no intermission. So, when a leader is feeling buried under the weight of it all, does coaching that person purely on workplace leadership actually serve the organization that pays for the coaching?
The Case for Sticking to Leadership Coaching
If a company hires a coach to enhance a leader’s performance at work, shouldn’t the coach stay in that lane? If a football team hired a coach for its quarterback, no one would expect that coach to help the player navigate marital struggles or figure out how to get their teenager to clean their room. Leadership coaching, by this logic, should focus on professional growth, decision-making, team dynamics, and strategic execution—because that’s what the company is paying for.
Coaches who dive into personal matters might be seen as overstepping boundaries, getting too close, or even veering into territory better suited for therapists. Additionally, if a company is investing in leadership coaching, they want to see measurable improvements in workplace performance, not just a happier leader with less personal stress.
The Case for Addressing the Whole Person
On the other hand, can a leader be fully present and effective when they are overwhelmed by personal struggles? If an executive is drowning in parenting stress, caregiving for an aging parent, or battling chronic health issues, will they be able to focus on strategy and execution at work? Not likely.
If we ignore these external factors, we risk putting a Band-Aid on deeper issues. A coach who helps a leader acknowledge and process the mental load they carry could actually help them show up more effectively at work. Addressing overwhelm, fatigue, or emotional stress doesn’t mean veering into therapy—it means providing tools to navigate complexity so they can bring their best selves to the office. In fact, coaching the person holistically may be the most effective way to ensure that the company gets the high-level performance it’s paying for.
Finding the Balance
The question isn’t whether we should acknowledge personal struggles—it’s how we address them while staying aligned with the purpose of leadership coaching. Perhaps the answer is this: we don’t solve every problem, but we help leaders create the capacity to solve them. We don’t become their therapist, but we recognize that emotions, energy, and life circumstances directly impact how they show up as leaders.
So, should a leadership coach support a leader through a mid-life crisis? Maybe the better question is: Can we truly be great leadership coaches if we don’t?
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